1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). NOTE: this also applies to checkout lanes at Walmart!
7. Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. The Coffee Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
11. Law of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
12. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.